"Each day he carries us in his arms" ~~Psalm 68

American Airlines has texted me several times today: the flight is on time; this is your gate; the flight has arrived (believe it or not); your baggage is here.

I was supposed to fly to Miami today and then on to Haiti tomorrow. But that didn't happen. I hurt my knee...really badly...torn meniscus (I learned to spell this yesterday) and torn ACL.

I was so sure God wanted me in Haiti for a month. I wanted to help even though I knew it would be a huge challenge for me. So now I begin to question myself: Is it because I did not say, "Lord willing"? Was it really all about pride?--a question I have to ask myself regularly. In other words, is this my fault? Or is God sparing me? Saving me from something? Needing me more somewhere else?

Or maybe it was because as I was in Bible study Tuesday night, I recommitted myself to "whatever it takes to draw closer to thee, Lord. That's what I'll be willing to do." More than that, "Whatever it takes for my will to break, that's what I'll be willing to do." Lanny Wolfe's song challenges me, and every so often I check to see if I am up to the challenge.

The first time I did this, I learned the next day that my daughter was being sexually abused. At other times, other challenges have arisen. Sometimes, nothing happens. This time within 24 hours, my knee was busted and my summer plans were rearranged.

What is God up to? What's going on?

I only know as I think about this situation that I am confident in God. He continues to have a plan for my life and he continues to lead me day by day. This is the adventure. I am his child and I just hold on to his hand. And sometimes he carries me in his arms. Incredibly, I like those times more and more, when he carries me close to his heart. I think I'll keep singing, "whatever it takes...."